Interview with a Dominant – part five

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Last year, I had the opportunity to be quizzed by Master Vile regarding my life as a Dominant and how that parlayed into our world. It’s been nearly a year since that interview was posted and I thought I would repost it in easier to digest “bite sized” chunks so as to offer a bit more detail and stimulate new conversations about it while reinvigorating former dialogues. This is part five of eight segements in which Master Vile Woods interviewed me regarding the BDSM lifestyle which Mynx and I lead.

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(5) Being with your partner I am going to assume you were both married for sometime, before taking that first step. Who’s idea was it to take that first step?

Conceptually, it was all Mynx. As I said, she had been reading, and if you know her, you’d agree that reading isn’t something she usually does, but now she was inseparable from her iPad. I came in the door from work and she said, “Hi, I hope your day was good, but whatever it was, it’s about to get better, look at this…” and she produced an excerpt from one of the books about a couple engaged in kinky fuckery. Admittedly, it was a hot scene. Mynx looked at me and said, “We already do most of that, we just didn’t know it had a name besides kinky sex.”

My research took me in many directions- I was a like the kid in a candy store with a hundred dollar bill. There was so much to learn about and understand. Protocols and rules fascinated me. The very dichotomy of Dominance and submission explained all that I had been feeling since I can remember seeing the very first Penthouse centerfold in Dad’s night stand at around 12 or 13.

But it was Mynx’s reading discovery helped me by defining who and what I am, and who and what she is. I probably would have survived without knowing, but I am sooo appreciative to Mynx for helping introduce us both and understand the dynamics of the D/s lifestyle and the role which BDSM plays in our desires.

-Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)
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10 thoughts on “Interview with a Dominant – part five

  1. I wonder statistically if it’s more often the submissive or the Dominant who first broaches the subject when dealing with an already established relationship.

    • I believe it to be the submissive who likely approaches the Dominant. I didn’t assign genders here purposefully.

      In the case of men, they are likely to be the first to say that their needs aren’t being met, but that’s because most men don’t consider or care about fulfilling the needs of their partner. Likely the majority are finished with “sex” after they get off. Note- not all are thihs way, and likely the guys reading this are different, simply because they’re taking the time to find out more.

      Either way though, a healthy sexual relationship on any level brings two people into a healthier presence with their partner, making it so that they want to spend more time together both in regular life moments and toward fulfillment of their needs.

      • “Either way though, a healthy sexual relationship on any level brings two people into a healthier presence with their partner, making it so that they want to spend more time together both in regular life moments and toward fulfillment of their needs.”

        Very well said. And that’s why it’s difficult for Nash and I to be apart as much as we are…but life’s circumstances are what they are for now I’m afraid.

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