Interview with a Dominant – part four

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Last year, I had the opportunity to be quizzed by Master Vile regarding my life as a Dominant and how that parlayed into our world. It’s been nearly a year since that interview was posted and I thought I would repost it in easier to digest “bite sized” chunks so as to offer a bit more detail and stimulate new conversations about it while reinvigorating former dialogues. This is part four of eight segements in which Master Vile Woods interviewed me regarding the BDSM lifestyle which Mynx and I lead.

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(4) Being a Dominant what is it you get out of your relationship?

Mynx and I have always been kinky in the bedroom, from the very first time we were intimate really. I wish I could turn back the hands of time to then and know about the D/s lifestyle. Sexually speaking, I get great pleasure out of Mynx’s pleasure. I love bringing her to the point of her losing all control. I love bringing her to the point where she loses all touch with reality, then embracing her trembling body while her soul returns to it. It’s really that simple. Sure, I may cum 2 or 3 or 4 times during a scene or sometimes not at all. It really depends on how it fits.

As my submissive, she is mine to pleasure, tease, torment, repeat… anytime I wish. She thrives on it. I thrive on it. Are we endorphin addicts? Maybe. Could I go without, yes, sometimes not by choice. My job takes me away anywhere from a day to a couple of weeks at a time. As of late, it’s been 2-4 days at a time. And the worst is that sometimes my communication rhythm is interrupted because of the job commitment. We all know the drill- do more with less, right?

For this reason, our version of D/s requires Mynx to have some degree of independence and independent thinking. I’ve already said that she’s an amazing leader by day with her job, and, I cannot and will not interfere with that. As much as she thrives on the structure of submission, she also has become an even better leader at work since beginning our D/s lifestyle. I believe she needs the release of responsibility which directly feeds her submissive nature. This affords her the ability to confidently give up control to me after work, knowing that I have her’s and my family’s best interest at heart.

She trusts me to do that for her. In return, I expose her most submissive side and it drives my Dominant side even harder; we feed off of each other in this way. It is our version of “The Power Exchange” or TPE. Yes, I changed it to fit us, and what we do. I know TPE really has meant “Total Power Exchange” but I need your readers to take an eraser to that line for a minute. Our version of TPE I believe is the reality which many people really can edge their D/s into. Mynx cannot disclose this part of her life because of her job, nor can I. Also true is the fact that I cannot micro-manage her day-to-day activities, nor hold her to a time clock regimen. Neither she nor I desire that, it doesn’t fit who were are today. Perhaps in the future? Maybe.

-Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)
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11 thoughts on “Interview with a Dominant – part four

  1. Jeez no blog posts for months then the flood gates open! My phone is blowing up with email notifications LOL. After getting to know Mynx, she could run a small country with her skills, but I do know it takes a toll on a submissive soul, and that having a strong Dominant as her partner allows her the release she needs and the security to let go. Nice to read these again Mr. TW!

    • Thank you, miss BoPeep… I agree, she’s quite the handful to try to tame. In recognition of that, the most important piece I’ve learned is that I cannot tame her unless she is ready to acquiesce to me as a Dominant. I believe there are loads of woman out there wishing to have the D/s lifestyle in some form, but who refuse to give up their sword so that they can enjoy the pleasures of submission. Thank you for your comments, miss BoPeep…

  2. I agree. Your version of TPE is closer to what I hear about from other couples too. I think it mirrors real life for most of us trying to balance work responsibilities, children, and our vanilla life. Certainly for us, I don’t need Mr. HH to micromanage my day. He couldn’t manage my schedule, doesn’t want that much responsibility, and feels I am more than capable. Do I want more ways to surrender to him? Absolutely! But those must be negotiated to HIS satisfaction as well. TTWD has to meet his needs as well as mine and that is a very important point I was able to learn early on, thanks to great mentors. 🙂

    Excellent post, Mr. TW, as always.

    • If I blushed, I’d be blushing very red right now, miss Angel. 🙂

      You and MrHH have a lot going for you and while that may not have always been the case in one from or another, the lifestyle you’re living is truly bringing out the most and best of you both- you can see it in your posts. Mynx and I are so happy for you both. It’s just so powerful to witness the strength of love in such new way through your desires to be more for each other. Even through there may be tough times, stay the course to your goals, miss Angel. Maybe you’ll need adjustments to the speed, or a diversion due to a stormy period, but I think you’d agree that how you finish in this thing called life is what matters most.

      Thank you for being you, miss Angel! 🙂

  3. I imagine what you’ve described is closer to most people’s realities. That’s certainly the case for us. Nash travels a lot with his job so him micromanaging my day just isn’t feasible. Does he have expectations of me while he’s away? Certainly. But is he checking in with me on an hourly basis or something? Absolutely not.

    • Thank you for your thoughtful reply, miss Lilli- I appreciate the similarity in our perspectives. Do you feel like you would desire more or less management and/or control from Mr Nash?

      • A simple question and yet, one I had to really think about before trying to answer. On the one hand, I crave his dominance and control, it feeds my submission just as I believe my submission feeds his dominance. But, on the other hand, I appreciate the trust he places in me and I imagine if he truly micromanaged me I might grow resentful. Mind you, that’s speculation on my part. That said, do I sometimes wish for him to assert more control than he currently does in my daily activities? Sometimes, yes. I’m just not sure where the tipping point would be between it fueling our connection while he’s gone vs becoming overbearing.

        • Not to pry, but have you had much dialogue with him about this subject? Sometimes we assume what we will because that is simply what we know. That’s not good or bad, but Mynx and I often carve out blocks of time- sometimes snippets, sometimes hours -where we’ll consider what we each need, crave and desire just to make sure we aren’t being complacent with each other’s desires.

          • Thank you, but don’t worry about prying…if I’m uncomfortable addressing something, I’ll say so. 😉

            As for your question…not recently. However, I have shared a couple of blog posts with him that will likely get him thinking about the subject. I’ve found it can be helpful sometimes to give him time to think on such topics himself, giving him time to digest and internalize before having a discussion.

            Carving out time to discuss such things would be wonderful, though I’m afraid at this point it would be more often in snippets rather than hours.

            “Complacency is a deadly foe…” A.W. Tozer

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