Interview with a Dominant – part three

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Last year, I had the opportunity to be quizzed by Master Vile regarding my life as a Dominant and how that parlayed into our world. It’s been nearly a year since that interview was posted and I thought I would repost it in easier to digest “bite sized” chunks so as to offer a bit more detail and stimulate new conversations about it while reinvigorating former dialogues. This is part three of eight segements in which Master Vile Woods interviewed me regarding the BDSM lifestyle which Mynx and I lead.

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(3) I assume you keep your lifestyle private, do you have friends who share the same interest?

We try to keep to ourselves. There are a few people we have built trust with, and with the exception of one couple outside of bloglandia, all of the friends we talk and correspond with were made through our blog. The thing is, with these select few, we do trust, heavily. We have gotten there through communication and openness, and mostly by not judging.

Everyone is different, their personality, their likes/dislikes, their kinks, how they speak, what they’re passionate about, etc… We have our kinks and on some levels we share common ground with others and their kinks. The major point is, even if their kinks are bizarre (as long as they don’t involve animals or underage people) we’ll talk, and listen. That’s how you learn. If you don’t engage, talk, listen- you’re one of the vanilla people looking in and passing judgment about topics which you may not fully comprehend or understand. Open up your mind and explore it’s darkest depths, admit you find something socially unacceptable -intriguing- and see where your mind takes you. In the end, might discover a whole new set of people with common interests, and could end up as friends.

-Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)
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18 thoughts on “Interview with a Dominant – part three

  1. The friends made through the blogs are incredible connections. I’m so glad you were reachable and trustworthy.

  2. If I may, miss Angel- were you and MrHH not so amenable to trying to sort out things for yourselves, the words which I spoke would have little meaning with either of you. The simple fact is that you both came upon something which you desired, and we were merely the conduit for you to validate your own ideas. You two have so much going for you, and Mynx and I are so thankful that we were a small part of your “awakening” to the lifestyle.

    Much love and respect to you and MrHH, miss Angel…

    PS- I’m glad we were able to determine there aren’t any “little” tendancies within you, LOL 🙂

  3. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to live in a world where we didn’t feel the need to compartmentalize ourselves. I imagine it would be very different from the world we currently live in, for better or for worse.

    • Honestly, I’m not sure what you’re getting at. We all compartmentalize and internalize things. Neither is inherently good or bad, that depends on the circumstances. Perhaps we’re coming at this from different perspectives.

        • Certainly don’t pretend to agree for my benefit.

          I internalize all sorts of things…it’s the taking in of information to process it and then hopefully be able to put it into practice or make it my own or be able to explain it to someone else, etc. Before talking to my husband about Dominance and submission I read a lot about the topic. I thought about the information I read. I added to that my own feelings and observations about the dynamic between my husband and I at the time. And then I brought the subject up to him. So, I internalized the information, added to that other observations and then was ready and able to express my thoughts and share the information with my husband.

          I compartmentalize all sorts of things as well. There are times I’m in mom-mode, friend-mode, sub-mode, etc. Yes, I’m always a mom and a friend and sub, etc. But, for instance, when I’m at a soccer game for one of my kids, my focus is on being a mom. If I’m working on a project, that’s my focus. Etc.

          • I wouldn’t agree for agreement’s sake, miss. Rather, acknowledging that I appreciate your perspective. As an observation, you seem to be a bit of a warrior too, or at least quite independent. But then I suppose some portion of that is out of pure necessity given the amount of time you’re apart. That for me is one of Mynx’s many endearing qualities- she’s independently dependent. I need her to be independent yet submissively dependent at the same time.

            • A warrior? Hmmm…I’m curious what exactly you mean by that.
              (and now I have The Warrior by Scandal w/Patty Smyth going through my head, lol)
              It sounds like Mynx and I have some things in common. 😉

              • Perhaps you and Mynx do have things in common, miss Lilli… But it would appear as though you are a “take charge” sort of woman. And it would appear as though you feel gratification from challenging the thoughts of others, just an observation not really a question. How often do you do the same with your husband, and what does he think of that?

                • I enjoy intelligent conversation ( and silly conversation too for that matter, 😉 ). If I challenge someone’s thoughts simply by sharing my own I don’t look at that as a bad thing. I’m grateful to have others in my life who challenge my thoughts. How else do we learn and grow if not by taking in new information and/or by reexamining old information, but from a different perspective? I’m aware there are some people who feel threatened by anyone who doesn’t just agree with them. That’s not me. As far as I’m concerned others should feel free to agree to disagree with me and I with them. I don’t get gratification from challenging others views so much as I enjoy the exchanging of viewpoints.

                  As for being a take charge sort of person, well, there’s certainly some truth to that. That’s part of why I find submitting to my husband so freeing.

                  As for Nash, he’s secure within himself so he’s not threatened by any of this. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We were high school sweethearts. And we exchange views often, always have, probably always will. Many times we find that we agree, either initially or after discussing it. There are times we don’t. And that’s okay. In our relationship he has the final say. I may not always agree with him, but he always takes my thoughts and feelings into account. And if down the road he finds that he was wrong he always apologizes. I really couldn’t ask for a better partner to share my life with. He loves me unconditionally.

                  • Very thought provoking… So I’ll change my observation from “take charge” to “secure” then, miss Lilli… Thank you for sharing your perspective. Question: Do you apologize as frequently as Mr Nash does?

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