Interview with a Dominant – part two

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Last year, I had the opportunity to be quizzed by Master Vile regarding my life as a Dominant and how that parlayed into our world. It’s been nearly a year since that interview was posted and I thought I would repost it in easier to digest “bite sized” chunks so as to offer a bit more detail and stimulate new conversations about it while reinvigorating former dialogues. This is part two of eight segements in which Master Vile Woods interviewed me regarding the BDSM lifestyle which Mynx and I lead.

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(2) You had mentioned in an email that some people were not honest, what did you mean by that statement?

Trust or honesty, in any relationship, is one of the most important facets of it. Without it, you cannot evolve in the relationship. Mynx and I are an open book. Truly. We live, love and breathe this stuff. Sure, we stub our toe everyone once in a while; neither of us are perfect.

“In real life” has grown to mean so much more to Mynx and I, especially since we stopped lurking and started blogging. As part of our mutual quest of understanding, we have pursued a few relationships outside of bloglandia where some people know our real names, our faces and how we live and what we do. These relationships are like gold to Mynx and I. They have helped us evolve, kept us in check, and, in some cases, have been an offline sounding board for challenges or questions.

One such couple we came to know IRL turned out to be very different than their blog would indicate. We had gotten to know them, first through email, then phone, then in person. The relationship ended when we discovered the differences between their blog and the “IRL couple.” The lesson; research and know who you’re speaking with.

For us, we were temporarily paralyzed with fear of meeting anyone else because of the facade which everyone lives behind in bloglandia. It was Mynx who took another chance with Little BoPeep, then later, BoPeep’s Sir- aka Mr DMW, and I became friends. As anyone who follows our blog knows, BoPeep and Mynx are inseparable now. Yes, they’re different, and yet they’re so much alike. They thrive off of one another. Their interaction and conversation are constant, yet they do not live together. They are sisters but not by birth. They thrive when they open up to each other about things which subbies and women need to discuss. I believe it is more about the “sub-port” they give one another than anything, but it’s also about a deeper discovery of who they both are, individually and together, which allows for the magic to occur.

The bottom line is that without complete openness, honesty and trust, none of the relationship between us as couples could ever have happened.

-Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)
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8 thoughts on “Interview with a Dominant – part two

  1. Great post Sir…. Another great topic. Thank you for loving my friendship with my sweet and dear BoPeep. She is most precious to my heart for sure…. Such a blessing, as is the wonderful Sir in my life! I love and treasure you so much.

    Meeting others in the lifestyle is a wonderful and beautiful thing. We have made, and forged some solid lasting friendships with many great people. These relationships were not formed overnight, giving them time, letting it develope naturally. Trust your gut, watch for warning signs, and inconsistencies. Also, if they are in judgement of others and throwing accusations around, you can bet they do that of you too! Never be afraid to reach out to others, many of us just want to find others that share a love for TTWD.

  2. You two are as open and honest as they come, and your love and desire for each other is evident to all who meet you. That other couple were phonies, and are of no consequence. You two are on a wonderful journey together and you seize every opportunity to learn and grow in the lifestyle. I treasure my relationship with Mynxie, thank you so much for loving and guiding her to new experiences. You are an inspiration to so many in blog land.
    Much love-
    Peep

    • Thank you, miss BoPeep… You know, one major point I’ve discovered is that it’s so easy to just be who you are with the right people, especially my Mynx. I too am glad that you two have become such good friends and I appreciate your input here, miss. Again, thank you…

      -Tom Wolf
      😎

  3. I think it’s wonderful that you’ve been able to forge some real and lasting friendships that transcend the blogosphere. How disappointing it must have been with that one couple though. And how sad for them that they feel the need to pretend to be something they’re not.

    • Thanks, miss Lilli… Yes true friends who are without agenda are hard to come by. Clearly, they had an agenda and our genuineness didn’t align with it. The uncomfortable realities set in which meant a misplaced investment of time and energy for Mynx and I. We aren’t crying over the spilled milk, rather, we’re acting as warning for others that no matter the intention or the capacity of the desired relationship, take your time to understand and/or appreciate what their expectations are, really just getting to know them. Doing so will help sort out the disingenuous from the sincere people, and point you in the right direction of fostering true, lasting friendships. I believe this applies to anyone, but it becomes hyper-focused when you consider the principles of D/s. In this case, we so wanted the openness of discussing our D/s with a seemingly like minded couple, that we overlooked the obvious reaction in our gut which said otherwise. Truly, it helped us grow once we understood it, but getting there was painful and caused us trepidation about opening up and inviting others into our lives.

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